Oh no you di’nt!

At the end of my semi-rant, an article from our local St Catharines Standard newspaper flogging the not-quite-dead, but critically-injured-nag called GO’s Run, a gelding stalled at the post in every sense of the phrase.

This Toronto to Niagara rail passage stuff actually makes headlines - still - after years of (here we go again…) considerations, studies, debates. You know the banter.

Hey, just give us a weekend train for crying out loud! There are plenty of people out there wanting to fight for a coveted parking space near the edge of the Falls and pay top dollar for souvenirs.

Anyone overlooking the stretch of the Q.E. from Beamsville to the Falls on any given weekend can see that the highway is one endless parking lot, cars bumper to bumper and THISCLOSE, all vying for position on three lanes of rut-laden tarmac.

The locals know to bypass all this, but those from out-of-town sit idly in their vehicles, presumably with kids whining in the back seat, the inevitable parental interrogations,

1. “Are we there yet?”

2. “I need to go to the bathroom,”

3. “Gimme my Barbie back, I had it first,” or, the (in)famous line from my own kids when they were little,

4. “Mom, she’s looking at me, she’s breathing on me, tell her to stop!… She’s not stopping, tell her to stop!”

Four cues to pull over for another shot of caffeine.

For anyone who’s had children, those sorts of afternoon outings are enough to send Barbara Coloroso packing. Most of us wouldn’t be in the mood to heed her repeated (ad nauseam) advice, “It’s all about choices.”

Let me tell you, Barb, the choices are pretty slim with two whining, bored kids in the back, already separated by a row of mini-van seats, juice and Cheerios long-gone, in a car that’s inching along every ten minutes.

There’s nothing that used to get me going more than my 2 year old, mid-temper-tantrum, arching her back in the car seat, feet-a-kicking, and demanding in her toddler-version of the King’s English, “I wanna get out!”

Even the Honourable Horse Flogger and former Minister of Tourism, local MPP, Jim Bradley, tried his magic (and failed) “championing” the cause for a GO train from Toronto to the Falls (fat lot of good that did).  I expect Jim bypasses the Niagara traffic on weekends by disappearing to his momentous, official meetings of great import in the nation’s capital. Mr. Bradley, stating the obvious like any veteran politician worth his salt, does, however, think it’s a “good idea” to have the rail service veer into Niagara.

Jeez, the last of the great minds to rubber-stamp the dilemma for us dullards. Thanks, Jim.

(Unfortunately, as the article says below, Jimbo was recently unavailable for comment.)

Smart move, Houdini.

To add insult to injury, we have our esteemed mayor, Brian McMullan, fresh from NiagaraPalooza (what a moniker) and his recent summits. Brian’s into summits these days - hell, just the word, “summit,” sounds pretty official, doesn’t it? One half-expects official representatives of the G8 membership to show up in a motorcade at City Hall. But if you ask me, Brian’s been watching Wolf Blitzer in The Situation Room, just one too many times.

The line that gets me shaking my head is McMullan’s quip that he’s in favour of anything that reduces the “carbon footprint” ’round these parts. And, by the way, it’s just a nasty rumour that he was hopping into an SUV on his way to another ribbon-cutting event when he uttered those words. Brian’s very aware of the environment, and good for him.

Carbon footprint? Add that one to the word-du-jour list, right up there with summits - economic and otherwise - and our famed NiagaraPalooza event.

If anyone’s looking for a few extra bucks, here’s a hint: sell photocopied maps on weekends of alternate routes to the Falls. A toonie a-piece, bartering alongside the carbon footprints already spewing exhaust as tourists sit idly on the Q. E. Niagara-bound (or, as a sign read once, thanks to a budding Warhol-wannabe, the Q. E. “Viagara-bound.”)

Come and get ‘em, Fresh off the press, Maps for sale.

In-vogue, environmentally green, global-patois aside - enough with the jargon already - we need to remedy the quickly evolving chaos on Niagara’s strip of motorways.

The turf is deep mud, but go for it, Ted Salci. To hell with the Triactor, I’m wagering ten bucks on a longshot Win this time.

Here’s the Standard’s article…

Niagara on track for GO service?; Falls mayor hopeful weekend train service will be extended to region this summer

Posted By JENNIFER PELLEGRINI

St. Catharines Standard

Niagara Falls Mayor Ted Salci is hopeful Toronto-area tourists will be able to ride the rails to Niagara this summer.

Salci met with GO Transit managing director and chief executive officer Gary McNeil last week in a bid to convince him to support extending GO train service to Niagara on weekends throughout the tourist season.

“We’re pushing for weekend transportation right away,” Salci said. “We think it’s a no-brainer because the rail stock is unused (on weekends).”

Negotiating GO service to Niagara by rail might be a bit tricky, he said. GO would have to work out a terms-of-use agreement with CN Rail, which owns the tracks into Niagara. “They place the movement of freight ahead of the movement of people,” Salci said.

In his previous role as Ontario’s tourism minister, St. Catharines MPP and provincial Transportation Minister Jim Bradley often advocated finding new ways to get people between the province’s two largest tourism destinations - Niagara Falls and Toronto.

Contacted at Queen’s Park, Bradley’s staff said he had a series of meetings scheduled in Ottawa and was unavailable for comment.

However, Bradley told Osprey News earlier this month bringing GO to Niagara would be a good idea.

“GO Transit itself has done those studies … and believes that in the future they at least think it could be viable to extend the service to Niagara and to Waterloo, and, well into the future, perhaps other areas in the province,” Bradley said.

“There are some major works that would have to be done in Hamilton, I am told, that is to ensure you could bring a line to Niagara.”

The time for that work may have come. In last month’s provincial budget, the government set aside $3 million to overhaul the downtown Hamilton rail station, which is currently in use as the Liuna Station banquet hall.

Bringing GO links to two Hamilton destinations - one along the CP Rail line and one along CN Rail where Liuna Station is - improves the potential for a Niagara spur.

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It’s something the municipality of Hamilton has been pushing for, Niagara Falls MPP Kim Craitor said of the proposal to bring Liuna Station back to its railroad roots.

This shows there is a commitment and I just want to get the message out there that we’re not just talking about things, we’re actually doing things, Craitor said.

He acknowledged it may not be easy to convince CN to allow GO to use the service, but said if it can be pulled off, it would also be a way for us to get a feel for ridership and affect on the highway. Salci said if rail service couldn’t be easily negotiated, GO bus service would help take the sting out of being stuck in traffic.

Bottlenecks on the QEW are one of many problems for Niagara Falls, which has begun to rely heavily on Toronto tourists for day trips as the number of short-haul American travellers has declined.

Visitors enjoy their stay once they get here, but the normally 90-minute trip to Niagara often takes much longer as travellers sit in traffic jams caused by construction, accidents and sheer volume. We’re hoping to get traffic off the road, Salci said. One bus is the equivalent of about 50 cars. That would ease the issue with the ongoing construction on the QEW in St. Catharines that’s scheduled to last the next two years.

McNeil did not respond this week to attempts by Osprey News for an interview via telephone or e-mail.

However, an assistant in his office said she is aware of McNeil’s intention to try to meet with representatives from CN Rail, although such a meeting has yet to be arranged.

St. Catharines Mayor Brian McMullan said he was not aware of a meeting between Salci and McNeil, but said he supports GO Transit coming to Niagara, whether it’s by bus or train.

I support any initiative to get cars off the road and reduce our carbon footprint, McMullan said.

He said while he’d be happy to have the three proposed Niagara stops Grimsby, St. Catharines and Niagara Falls tested in a pilot project this summer, reliable service over the long haul is key to bringing GO trains to Niagara.

It may be a leap of faith for the government to go to GO trains first.

It’s less costly to go with GO buses as a start, McMullan said. But in the long term, I believe we’ll continue to press for regular, frequent and consistent service.

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